Its still so hard for me to recollect any memory with you. I dont understand. I wasnt finished making memories with you. I have very few vivid memories of our time together. In each and every one I remember how calm and collect you always were. I remember when youd watch Jay Leno and youd laugh and your smile would stay on your face and slowly fade until you heard the next joke. I remember you always on your computer typing various codes of what I assumed was software development. I would watch you and be amazed at how smart you are. I remember getting ready for our first camping trip we were going to take on your motorcycle and I was so excited. We spent months preparing. But on the weekend we were supposed to go I decided to go play with my cousin instead. You said that was fine and you said something about hating pizza. That little girl didnt know that was the last time she would ever see her daddy. I wish I wouldve never left. I wished I would have hugged you a little longer. I wished I could have one more of your wet kisses. I wish I could hear you sing Sealed With a Kiss to me just one last time. I fell into a dark depression and made some mistakes. I didnt always treat mom the way I shouldve. But Im grown up daddy. We all are. I hope by some grace of god that you are up there watching over us, seeing what weve all accomplished. I still wear your ashes around my neck every day and hold it close when songs come on that remind me of you. I love you daddy. Ill see you one again day.